Another Day, Another Kidnapping
by KP2001
Summary: Peach has been kidnapped... again. What happens while held hostage? And will Mario save the day? (No prizes if you guess correctly)


**This is based off of a personal head-cannon I have about the Super Mario franchise.**

**Because honestly, how many have wondered how Bowser can kidnap the princess so many times and be invited to kart racing?**

**Warning: Expect a lot of OOC from the characters.**

* * *

Cannons sang as airships flew overhead. Toads ran around in circles panicking. Indeed, Bowser, King of the Koopas, was invading. He had his claws on the local ruler aboard his personal vessel.

"_BWAHAHAHA! _I have you now Princess!"

"Mario!" a distressed Peach cries out. "Help me!"

The guard was in shock as the fleet left, leaving the town in ruins and many Toads in shock at what had just transpired.

Yep. Just another day in the Mushroom Kingdom.

_Several hours earlier…_

The sun rose over the Kingdom as the Koopas and many others awoke within. In the castle, Bowser was reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee as Junior had a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

Yes, Bowser was being a domestic father. Yes, he wasn't being evil this morning. And yes, he was just sitting down and having breakfast.

His plans for today: oversee the construction of a new amusement park that was being set up for the public before spending the afternoon with his son.

Unfortunately for him, and by extension everyone else, a phone call was set to change everything.

"Hello?" Junior looked up from his breakfast in confusion as his father took the call. "What? Seriously?" Bowser sighed. "Okay, fine. Goodbye." He hung up.

"Dad? What's going on?"

"Get the airships together when you're done breakfast," Bowser answered as he got up from the table and finished his coffee.

Junior knew what that meant. "You don't mean…"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'll definitely take you to the park tomorrow."

While he left the table as his son wrapped up breakfast, Bowser dialed a number. This was going to be one of those days, and someone would have to be informed…

_Elsewhere…_

Peach's Castle was in a flurry of activity as Toads flocked around with boxes of items as Toads prepared for a pretty big celebration. Toadsworth was overseeing preparations as Peach herself entered to look over the activity.

"Its all going as planned Princess," the elder Toad reported. "Everything should be set up by the end of the day."

"That's nice to hear Toadsworth; everyone deserves some time to enjoy themselves."

Her phone rang as they looked onwards. She took the call.

"Hello? Oh, hi Bowser!" Her expression got desperate. "Seriously!? But we have a party being set up! We even have you on the invitation list!" She sighed in resignation. "I'll get the Toads ready. See you…"

She hung up as Toadsworth looked to her worried. "Princess? Something wrong?"

She looked at him in resignation. "We need to cancel the party," she stated bluntly. "He's coming over."

"You don't mean…"

"Yes."

He sighed. "We cannot catch a break these days, can we? Pack it in everyone; party's canceled."

All the Toads started taking down decorations and moving them to storage disappointed.

"If you need me, I'll be in my room," Peach informed Toadsworth as she went to her quarters.

_Outside Toad Town sometime later…_

Two brothers were just wrapping up hanging laundry outside as they took in their laundry basket.

"Nice to get a day off, eh Luigi?" the elder brother in red asked as they entered.

"And with the weather!" Luigi replied. "I could live with that every day. That's not mentioning the party later today!"

"Yep!"

It was uncommon for either to have the day off, as they were either doing plumbing work in Toad Town or bailing Peach as per their instructions from their superiors. When they did get that time off, they tried to make the most of it.

"Up for a round on the Wii before lunch Mario?" Luigi challenged. "Bet you can't beat me this time!"

"Oh, it's on!" was Mario's reply.

Luigi turned the television on as the news channel broke out. Airships were in the sky, minions were in the streets… oh yeah, and the princess was kidnapped again.

Mario's face quickly went flat upon hearing the news.

"This is going to be one of those days, isn't it?" he deadpanned as he went for the door. "Wanna come Luigi?"

Luigi shrugged as he turned off the TV. "Why not? Gives me an excuse to get outside."

* * *

Many Toads pictured their princess being held in a cage over a pit of lava. Some even imagined that she was forced into doing some… questionable actions for the Koopa King.

Contrary to that, she had a pretty good deal while she was held 'hostage'.

"Any fours?"

Bowser shook his head, as did his son.

"Go fish mama."

Peach took up another card from the pile.

"Any… jacks?" Junior asked.

Both shook her head. "Go fish."

"Snacks anyone?" Bowser asked as he looked up from the card game.

Both nodded as a Koopa took off to the kitchen.

* * *

"I wonder about some things sometimes, Mario."

"Like what, Luigi?"

"For instance," he spread out his arms at the expanse of sand. "Why are we wearing long-sleeved shirts and overalls in a desert of all places? Or the taiga forests? Or the Koopa Kingdom of all places!?"

"Probably because we're in a rush to save the princess on days like this, and we can't wear anything else on days where we aren't rushed."

"What about that time on Isle Delfino?"

"That was an exception!" Mario rebutted. "I didn't know we would be filming on vacation!"

* * *

"This is a good tea you make Bowser." Peach took a sip of her tea as she watched Junior take his turn on the Switch.

"Woo! 6!"

"Well, we do use tea leaves from the Mushroom Kingdom to make it." Both monarchs laughed as Junior took his turn.

* * *

Both brothers were exhausted by the time they reached the border of the Koopa Kingdom. Mario leaned on the sign while he waited for Luigi to catch up.

"'It gets easier with experience' they say," Luigi muttered. "'You'll be used to it' the say. What a joke!"

* * *

"So, all of these kidnappings have understandably been bad for my public image for the Toads," Bowser explained

"You're not wrong," Peach confirmed. "Anyone not in the loop generally have a negative image of you according to a recent poll."

"I was considering an exchange program so that everyone can learn more about each of our cultures. Perhaps it will help simmer tensions; at worst, limit stereotyping between us."

Peach nodded in agreement to that.

At least these 'kidnappings' allowed for more international matters to be discussed.

* * *

Mario and Luigi stared down the gate of Bowser Castle for… who knows how many times at this point. Who even bothers to count by now?

Luigi pulls out a flask and downs some liquid courage for what was to come, while Mario takes out a cigar and lights it near a geyser, taking a couple puffs from it. The former attempts to slap the rolled-up tobacco from the latter's hand.

"Mario," Luigi chastises his brother. "That stuff is going to kill you one day."

"But it hasn't killed me yet," Mario counters as they head into the castle.

* * *

"Your Highness, it appears that the Mario Brothers are here!" Kamek reported as he flew in on the royal discussion on architecture of all things, with all engaged bored out of their skulls.

Turns out being confined with only a few people really whittles down the number of conversation topics over time.

Bowser sighed. "Alright, you know the drill Princess."

Peach nodded as she entered the cage. The Koopa King closes it as Junior raises the cage.

* * *

The brothers walk in to see the pool of lava underneath their feet. Perhaps it was the loss of the shock factor over the years, maybe the influence of tobacco and alcohol, maybe just the fact they experienced it so many times they've seen it all. Either way, they entered with bored expressions. As usual, Bowser stood on the other end of the bridge. Neither side took up a combat stance as they stared each other up.

"Bowser."

"Mario. Green 'Stache."

"I take it the princess had a somewhat productive afternoon?" Luigi inquired.

"More or less," the Koopa King replied nonchalant as he stepped aside.

Both brothers walked over to the other side and hit the button.

The axe fell, the bridge broke apart, and Bowser tumbled into the lava with an unamused face.

The bottom of the cage opened as Peach fell out smoothly.

"Princess," the two plumbers greeted her with a genuflect.

"Thank you, boys. Junior has a balloon for us out back."

As the three took the back exit, Junior hit a button on a control pad. Emerging from the side of the wall of the lava pool were ladder rungs. A claw grabbed as Bowser, completely okay and coughing up 'lava', climbed up it.

"I just can't hold my breath like I used to…"

* * *

As all three looked out to the sunset on the horizon, Mario, Luigi, and Peach were in serious contemplation as they returned home. Nobody said a word, but it was clear that one thought was on their minds…

What were they thinking when they agreed to this arrangement?


End file.
